A Short Trip to Jakarta

This is is my belated update of my Jakarta trip 1st April 2008. I went on Air Asia’s maiden flight from Kuching to Jakarta with 3 of my girl friends. It’s was a real short trip as we flew back on 3rd April. Can’t do much with such a short trip but we still managed to have some fun window shopping and get on the cab travelling from one part of the city to another part and snapping some pictures on the road in travelling cars. That too was something.

It was an eye opener to visit Jakarta. It is the capital of Indonesia, located on the northwest part of Java. It covers an area 661 square kilometers and has approximately a population of 13,194,000 (44,283 people per square mile).The languages spoken in Jakarta are Bahasa and Betawi Indonesian. You can still get around with English although not widely spoken. Imagine the size and it is administratively divided into:

Central Jakarta – you will find National Monument. Presidential palace, Office buildings, hotels, Mangga Dua Shopping Center and Menteng Residential Area.

West Jakarta – these are where Jakarta's Chinatown, Museums, Trading Centers, Nightlife Entertainment Centers, Shopping Centers and Malls are located.

South Jakarta – you will find more Shopping Centers, Malls, Restaurants, Hotels, Nightlife Entertainment Center (Blok M), Senayan Sports Complex and Residential areas.

East Jakarta – these are where the Taman Mini Indonesia Indah, Utan Kayu art community, Cibubur camping ground, industrial parks, Halim Perdanakusuma airport.

North Jakarta - Beautiful Thousand Islands, Ancol Bayfront City, and Kelapa Gading shopping centers.

Getting around Jakarta is a problem. The city layout is chaotic and totally bewildering and I supposed the traffic is the worst in South-East Asia with massive traffic jams slowing the city to a crawl during rush hour. It's a holiday so the jam is not a pain.

Since it was a short trip we managed to move around Central Jakarta. It was interesting to window shop and walk around Mangga Dua shopping center and you have plenty of choice on foot wear, genuine goods and imitation goods…Plaza Indonesia, where the shopping center is, happens to be really nice and you can find all branded shops here.

Despite the jam, the pollution I see her charms and I can rate it as one Asia's most exciting cities. There is plenty to do in Jakarta, from cosmopolitan shopping and also to the hippest nightlife scenes in Southeast Asia.


Best of all was the great company with my girl friends and having quality time eating, laughing and window shopping and getting on the flight together to see places. Can't ask for more for such golden opportunity.....

Mother's Day

Today is Mother’s Day, where many in the world celebrate in different ways to mark this day. Occasionally on Sundays, my siblings and I will have dinner with our mum. Today is a special day having dinner with mum because it’s Mother’s Day. She is 78. I am counting my blessings to be sitting next to her and enjoying being with her. She is delighted, not because it’s Mother’s Day, but because she can be with her children and her grandchildren.

I was recollecting what a great mum I have. All my friends talk and praise their mum. Everyone claimed their mum are super mum. Yes, indeed they all are. I felt more so for my mum

As usual, I received many “sms” wishing me Happy Mum’s Day. There was one nice sms sent by my best friend Phyllis, and I felt that that was how I felt about my mum.

” A mother is God's love in action. She looks with her heart and feels with her eyes. A mother is the bank where her children deposit all their worries and hurt. A mother is the cement that keeps her family together and her love lasts a lifetime. Send this to a good mother. I just did. Happy Mothers' Day.”

I was also pondering as to what my children perceive about the kind of mum they have. My eldest son Caleb wrote a card for me which read:

“There are many mummies, there are many mums, there are even many mamas, but there is only one mumsies and that’s you. Happy Mother’s Day, and I Love You.”

And another card Caleb’s girl friend wrote that reads: “There are so many things that I want to tell/talk/say to you but I can’t express it all these words. All I can say is thanks for treating me like your daughter. Thanks for fetching me home everyday, thanks for everything you gave especially your LOVE and cares.”

Another heart warming card from my second son, Joash, that reads: "Happy Mother's Day! TQ for just one thing.... being "mumsies".

And another warmer card from my third son, Darryl, that reads:"Happy Mother's Day! Thank you for what you have done for me like: buying clothes, pampering me, buying yesterday's toilet paper, caring about me, thoughtful about me, many many more.... thank you for everything"

To all the mums out there and I passing on this Mother’s Day Message:

A mum is a Rose whose petals are soft,
A mum is a lily whose stem is tall and strong,
A mum is a person who is never wrong.
A mum is a person you should love forever.
Trust her, believe her and never doubt her.
From one mum to another…..
Pass this to someone who you think is a good mum.
I just did. Happy Mother’s Day!

Let Go

Time flies unfelt. 2007 is gone and now we are embracing 2008 with new hope and plans. With each passing year, we set many resolutions. Some are fulfilled, some are left unfulfilled and some are carried forward. I did not post this article in January to join in the rat race to affirm my resolution but its timely now too because it is the 4th Day of Lunar Chinese New Year – the year of the Rat.

“Let Go” has being ringing in my ears and heart since last year. There are many things I have faced and gone through throughout the years; some pleasant and some unpleasant. I wish to cast off the excess baggage, both physical and emotional, to emerge leaner and meaner to face the New Year and each passing day. It is quite habitual for me come every end of the year to clear my office drawers, table and my own bedroom stuff. It is easier to let go of the “physical baggage” compared to the “emotional baggage”. Things that happened in the past may have influenced our current actions. We read and were told that we need to let go and dump the unhealthy excesses of emotional baggage. Unknowingly, these have often become our stumbling block which weigh us down and prevent us from being able to move on with our lives to find happiness and success in relationships, business and family.

In October last year, my best friend Phyllis gave me a book – “Self-Empowerment” - autographed by the writer Bridget Menezes. She passed it to me in the evening when we attended the talk by the writer. Towards the end of the evening I flipped the book and saw a bookmark which came with the book. I could not believe my eyes when I saw the bookmark entitled “Let Go”. It was just like a confirmation of my lingering thoughts that it was high time to “let go” of certain matters. Is it a coincidence? I believe all things happen for a good reason. I like to share the wordings on the bookmark.

Let Go
It is great to be in control, and it is great to let go,
Let go for your expectations and fixed ideas about how things should be done.
Don’t try to force things to happen.
Just do as you can, then step back and see what takes shape.
If you feel responsible for someone else’s mood or emotions let this feelings go.Relax and allow new positive influences and options to emerge.

Yes, a good resolution to think about and a good one… “Let Go”.

Double Winnings in a Week

December is a busy month with many happenings. All these years I always experienced it with a very mixed feeling. Busy and rushing for annual business close, clearing backlogs, clearing papers and “rubbish” on the table, events and functions to go to; the feelings are like that there are so many things left undone. It is like spring cleaning physically and emotionally to pave the way for the New Year.

On 18th December 2007, my Toastmasters club held the Executive Committee Installation dinner. No announcement was made for the “Best Dressed” prior the dinner. Surprisingly, I was picked the best dressed. I had on a matching pearl necklace, ear stud and bracelet and a beige sandal to match my simple dress. It is just a simple dressing and nothing grand. I was delighted for the surprise.

On 21st December, 07, The Sarawak Club organized a “Big Tie” Christmas Party at the Badger Bar (I do not celebrate x'mas and it is a dinner for me). I have been a member for more than 20 over years but I never participated in most events. My friend asked me to go for this one as they are serving turkey. I will normally dress to the theme. This photo shows some other club member wearing a tie and bow.

So creatively, I used green and red-colored paper to make a big tie in the shape of a Christmas tree and decorated it with glitters (my son and daughter helped me with the glitters). My daughter, Sarah was curious and enquired why I took the trouble to make the tie (she went shopping with me to buy the items). I told her I wanted to win a prize for wearing a big tie to the dinner. I was taken aback when she said, “Mummy, you don’t have to win every time”. I asked why? She said, “Sometime let others win”. I ponder over it for a while. Can we let others win? Do we have such a big heart of giving? I told her, you are right. It is not all about winning but it is a matter of the heart and your effort in doing your best and having fun in doing it.

I really did my best and put an effort and I was the winner of the “Big-tie” event and won myself a bottle of white wine. It is such a nice feeling to be a 2-time winner in a week and a memorable round up for the year end.

BIRTHDAY WISH ON “AIR”

7th Oct was my birthday, and that of my third son Darryl’s too. I do not usually celebrate my birthday. Darryl and I shared our birthday cake.

It’s a pleasure to receive so many birthday wishes from friends via sms, e-card, instant messaging and emails. Feeling good to be thought of. Strangely, this year a few close friends I consider dear totally forgot my birthday which they never missed. Does it hurt? Yes and No. Actions speak louder than words, I seem to concur, and I knew what it meant. I believe we choose to remember or forget and it is a matter of the heart.

Coincidentally, I had to fly to Kuala Lumpur for my office meeting on my birthday which I don’t really like because I want to have a more relaxed time to enjoy Darryl’s birthday cake and dinner.

It turned out to be a pleasant surprise to fly then. When the plane touched down at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA), I heard an announcement wishing me “Happy Birthday”. The chief stewardess walks to my aisle seat to confirm to my identity and shook hands with me and presented me a mug and some tarts instead of a cake… That was a nice gesture and going all out to service the passenger. I was embarrassed in a way too because it seem most of the passenger knew it was my birthday when I would prefer to keep a low profile. I don’t think Malaysia Airline System (MAS) does this to all passengers who flew on their birthday. It was the random act and pro-activeness of the crew of that flight. Well done! Hope they do keep that up to cheer people.

I really feel good and a consolation that I was remembered and wished in a different situation. It really made my day and I feel so light hearted when walking out of the plane to the custom clearance and arrival hall and smiles on my face while in the KLIA express train. I should say it was my best birthday. Life is not that bad after all.

Somehow, I realize that no one is perfect in this world but always remember that nothing can make us more perfect than being patient. When we learn to stay calm, the world will be the most peaceful place to us. :)

So Far Yet So Near

So Near Yet So Far! What’s that feeling? Can you feel and have you felt before?

On 21 June 2007, my friends and I decided to embark on a quest to conquer the highest mountain in South East Asia – Mt Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia. Many have traveled (an average of 200,000 climbers/tourists annually to be more exact) from afar and all parts of the world came to scale this mountain and conquer the highest peak called the Low Peak which is 4095.2 meter and get a photo of their victorious smile together with the sense of satisfaction as well as a certificate to keep as a record and souvenir.

I didn’t want to be left out because Mt Kinabalu, which is located in Sabah, happens to be in my neighboring state. It is an hour 20 min flight to Kota Kinabalu from my city – Kuching, Sarawak. It is not only the First World Heritage Site of Malaysia, it is also a magnet to travelers and a symbol of conservation for natural history enthusiasts as well as biologists all over the world. Despite the increasing tourist traffic, the preservation of the National Park continues undisturbed, for on this one mountain alone there are more than 4000 species of vascular plants, thousands of insect forms, more than 300 bird species and 100 mammals, and many other life forms.

On my way to the national park to spend a night of relaxation and mental preparation before the climb, we stopped by the Poring hot spring to have a dip in the cold and hot pools to soothe our body muscles in anticipation for quest, and it was great fun. We then left and continued our drive to the national park, greeted by the cool and fresh air. I did not mind staying at the National Park Summit Lodge, where it was nice to enjoy the coolness and serenity while gazing at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu from our lodge; it was just too enticing as not to continue the journey next morning.

Keeping in mind the thought of ‘never give up’, the journey began. It was neither an easy climb nor is it a hard climb. However, the man-made steps which were quite far apart was killing my left knee. When I was at 2800 meters my knee started to hurt. Each stride and step I took was pure pain. I have never had a knee injury throughout the many jungle treks and hills or mountain climbs before. I had to cling onto my mountain guide’s arm to continue. I nearly gave up but there was no chance to retreat. It was a real test of will-power and mental toughness. Finally, I arrived at the 3,272 meter (11,000 feet) rest house – Laban Rata. I took 8 hours (while others took 3 to 4 hours) to reach because I spent many hours taking photos; the wide range of vegetation and rugged landscape was just too fascinating. It’s cold in the evening in Laban Rata Rest house – 11 degrees centigrade. It was nice despite the cold. I was filled with a sort of inner peace. I took a warm shower, and then moved on to a sumptuous dinner where I met a few new friends. Many climbers rested early that night because we had to get up at 2.30am the next morning for the summit climb.

I was ready by 2.30am despite the freezing temperature of about 9.8 degree centigrade. My knee still hurt but I still wanted to press on because I felt like the summit was within reach; just another 823.2 meter. This would be the hardest stretch of the whole climb, but you will be overcome by a feeling that none can describe unless it is experienced personally. I walked in pain, clinging onto my guide’s arm for about 300 meter before I finally waved the white flag. Many climbers and a group of my new-found friends, elderly Japanese climbers, went past me. I sat down for a while before I got up in another attempt to continue my journey. I made a few more attempts before I finally had to give in. I was devastated, and I broke down in tears. The feeling was terrible. I was defeated because of my inexperience and things I need to let go. Due to that situation, I had to come to terms with myself, and reluctantly I went back to the rest-house to rejuvenate and heal my injured knees.

It’s so near and yet so far because I did not make it to the top and I missed the beauty from the rugged peak of Mt Kinabalu. The Glacial Super-highway, South Peak (is a bizarre rock-desert), Donkey’s Ears (most characteristic summit feature viewed from Low’s Gully) and of course the Low Peak (highest). (The photos taken by my friends who made it to the summit.)

However, before I left at lunch time, one of the elderly Japanese climbers I just met gave me a stone he picked from the summit as a gift to me from the summit. I was so touched, for he knew how one felt when you are so near and yet so far. Thanks Toshi-san. The stone will be an inspiration to persevere and never give up. It also reminded me of how it was like to be remembered; through the kind thoughts of my newly-made friend.

I was presented with a certificate from Kinabalu Park as a record and a souvenir for an ascent of Mount Kinabalu for elevation reached at 3,272 meter (11,000 feet) which is not coloured. (The certificate for Reaching the summit is with colour).

A signpost at Laban Rata said, “Take Nothing but Photographs, Leave Nothing but Footprints, and Keep Nothing but Memories”. Yes, for now its a memorable memories and I will surely return again one day to renew my quest to conquer the summit and get the coloured certificate. Never Give Up!

"It's Almost There"

There is something that I aspire to do despite many New Year’s resolutions, but failed. That is to set time for exercise and keep fit. I want to age gracefully thus I need a healthier life style. I took up dancing and went for swimming… but somehow I didn’t keep the dancing lessons going but went swimming once in a while. That’s not enough.

In August last year, I took up new exercises - jungle trekking and mountain climbing. I was lucky to have a buddy who kindly offered to accompany me on this new quest. My buddy suggested going to Kpg Taba Sait, about forty-five minutes drive away from the city. I took three hours for the to and fro journey compared to two hours for the villagers.

So the trek began. With much difficulty and a series of out of breath moments; I finally came to an interesting site where I needed to cross two bamboo suspension bridges at a one person walking width. One of the bridge measured approximately about 100 over feet long and the other about 50 over feet long and hanging about 40 to 50 feet above the streams. It’s scary to walk across the shaky bamboo bridges. It’s really an experience. My courage was tested.

Honestly, I wanted to give up the journey many times…I was so exhausted lacking stamina and I just fell flat on the ground to take a rest. However, my buddy encouraged me saying “It’s almost there”. I have forgotten how many times I asked whether we are reaching our destination. Repeatedly, the encouraging words “It’s almost there” was uttered. It was the echo of “It’s almost there” that spurred me on and I finally reached the village welcomed by the serenity of nature and the friendly faces of the village folk and happy children. It’s good to get away from the city and enter the tranquility of the village life.

At the end of my jungle trek my Nike shoe sole was ripped open, my body was tired and my muscles ached. In exchange I felt rich in the spirit, refreshed from breathing the fresh air in the jungle and getting the positive ion from the jungle and feeling good all because I did not give up and make it. I felt victorious and satisfied with the end result.

Many times in our life journey, the feelings are like such. There are so many things that we want to do but felt like giving up or have given up. Please hold on to your dreams, realize it. It’s likened to my first jungle trek that I wanted to give up. My buddy encouraged me and said, “It’s almost there”. That gave me the strength to carry on. There were voices of encouragement that push us on. Listen to those. Hear those voices and persevere, my friends. Never give up, “it’s almost there”. Yes, I will continue to trek and climb mountains to find solace in within.

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is Broadway’s longest-running and most popular musical which returns to Singapore for a limited season in March 2007. It is a worldwide sensation which takes Singapore audiences on an unrivalled musical theatre journey. Together with my two friends, Damien and Daphne, we flew all the way to Singapore on 5th May 2007 and were later joined by my godson, Gabriel who works in Singapore – four of us to be among the lucky audience.

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s phenomenal hit first burst onto the London stage 20 years ago, and continues to play to full houses nightly in London, New York and around the world. THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA has been seen by over 80 million people worldwide, has been performed in more than 20 countries, has won over 50 major theatre awards, and has grossed more than S$5 billion.

Why go through all that distance and spent that money? Well, we should go where the heart desires. It’s worth watching this two and half hour musical put up by 130 casts, crew and orchestra members, spectacular sets and more than 230 costumes, It contains some of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s most famous and stirring music. The performance was really superb, with mesmerizing songs played through the wonderful sound system. A great show really.

It is a heart-wrenching story of the mysterious “Angel of Music” who lives beneath the Paris Opera House. The hideously disfigured Phantom falls in love with the young singer Christine, devoting himself to creating a new opera star while exercising a reign of terror over the Opera House’s occupants.

It’s a touching story with a sad ending where Christine gave the Phantom a kiss and a hug. He let her go to her lover reluctantly. He has a big heart. Could we do the same? Christine ran to her lover and seeing her go, he called out “I love you, I love you”…… That scene was heart wrenching. It makes you feel so much sympathy for the Phantom because of his unrequited love and passionate desire for Christine. I believe many were touched to the verge of tears, including me. Why does the Phantom want to fall in love?

We all want to fall in love like the Phantom. Why? The reason being that experience makes one completely alive. Where every sense is lifted, every emotion is magnified and our everyday reality is shattered. It’s like flying into heavens. It may last a moment, an hour and an afternoon. That doesn’t diminish its value because we are left with memories that are treasured for the rest of our live. The Phantom chose to treasure those memories and the feelings for the rest of his life.

The show will be over at the end of May. "If you see only one show, make sure it is this one!" Seize the chance to see it in Singapore or grab a VCD to enjoy the musical. The songs are lovely.

Mother's Day

I don’t celebrate the stereotypical and commercialized Mother’s Day. To me everyday is and should be a Mother’s Day.

Well, you may ask why the title in this blog………?

It’s the warm feelings of friends remembering me and knowing that I am a mum and sending those wishes through sms and emails. It’s the thought that counts that make today so nice. I was thinking, are we only remembered during such occasions?

The following are some nice sms greetings received locally and from overseas.

“Happy Mother’s Day” (many with these greetings)

“As the Sky Breaks into a Beautiful Sunrise, May God Open the Heaven to Shower You Lots of Love and Happiness to Make Your Day a “Blessed” one. Happy Mother’s Day!”

“Hope you have a Good Rest. Happy Mother’s Day!”

“Happy Mummy’s Day, dear”.

“Happy Mother’s Day, godmum. I love ya so much”

“It Would Take a Thousand Workers to Build a Castle, A Million Soldiers to Protect its Country, But it Only Takes One Woman to Build a Happy Home…. Happy Mother’s Day!”

“Happy Mother’s Day, love.”

Many e-mails poured in but I love this one:-

When I'm an old lady,
I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness...just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)
I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)
When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)
When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)
I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)
And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"

God Bless All Moms and Grandmas and Great-grandmas everywhere!
(author – unknown)

What else makes the day better? I can’t ask for more. A good coincidence: spending five hours with another mother - my best friend, Phyllis. Due to her work, she has to transit in my city before boarding the last flight back home. We talked and laughed over her coffee and my green tea and then dinner with my family and my mothers before sending her off to the airport. Many hugs were given and received from the children for both mothers.

A good wrap up for the day was when I received a card from my only 8th year old daughter before she goes to bed, which reads as follows:

“My mum is the most wonderful mum in the world!
She’s as pretty as a flower.
Her favorite food is fish and vegetable.
I think mum is funny when she laughs.
But I know she’s really angry when I do not do my homework.
I love my mum because she helps me with my homework.
Happy mother’s Day” Love, Sarah

To all my friends and wonderful mothers, have a wonderful Mother's Day everyday!

Holiday In Hanoi

In my previous post, “Is Honking the Way of Communication”, I mentioned that, despite the honking and the noise of traffic in Hanoi streets, it will not deter one to discover the many beauties of Hanoi. It did not deter me for sure. Yes, Vietnam - "The Hidden Charm". I returned at the end of March for a holiday.

Hanoi City Tour

My first trip in January was limited to the city tour due to time constraint. That city tour was a great experience, where I visited the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum, Ho Chi Minh House, The Temple of Literature, Thang Long Water Puppet Theatre and of course the famous Old Quarter – the famous 36 streets. My friend and I hopped on the cyclo to have an hour ride to tour the 36 streets. Each street represents a guild or industry, such as silk and crafts and souvenirs etc…Well this Old Quarter still attracts me a lot. During my second trip I am more adventurous; sitting in the low stools and savoring the street food and tasting the local delicacies. I was fortunate enough to spend my weekend in the city where I witnessed the night market - certain streets are closed for this purpose. It is a scene not to be missed.

At the end of March I went back to discover The Hidden Charm. I visited HaLong Bay, Cat Ba Island and The Perfume Pagoda.

HaLong Bay

It is a drive of 165Km (103 miles) from Honoi about 3 hours through Quang Ninh province to Bai Chay in Halong City. I went on-board the junk and had lunch which was a good experience. Ha Long Bay is located in the North-East of Vietnam, in Quang Ninh province. It is an archipelago of 3,000 limestone islands jutting out of the emerald green waters in the Gulf of Tonkin. It is one of the world’s natural heritages officially recognized by UNESCO in 17th December 1994 for its scenic beauty. In an area covering 1,500Km (580 sq miles), sampans, junks, fishing boats as well as numerous tourist boats sailed past and looking at thousands of amazing objects make you feel like you are in a fairy land. It has beautiful sceneries and it is a relaxing cruise. Beside, Ha Long Bay has many beautiful caves to0.

Cat Ba Island

After cruising on the water and visited the cave, we were transferred to a smaller boat to continue our journey to Cat Ba Island – a fishing community. This was because some tourists chose to stay overnight on-board the junk. However, I chose to stay overnight on Cat Ba Island. I had a good time exploring the whole island, going round on a rented motorbike and bicycle. Cat Ba Island is the largest in HaLong Bay measuring 354 sq km (136 miles). It offers more spectacular landscape, forested limestone peaks, coral reefs, coastal mangrove and freshwater swamps, lakes and waterfalls and has nice beaches to explore. Almost half the island and its adjacent waters are a national park, with diverse flora and fauna. I love Cat Ba Island. Its beautiful, peaceful, no honking, less traffic and clean as compared to the busy Hanoi. It is a place not to be missed if you ever plan to visit Hanoi.

The Perfume Pagoda

The Perfume Pagoda is 60km (37 miles) southwest of Hanoi. The journey comprises of three parts: by road, by boat, or a 4-km (2 and half mile) hike. As it was a day trip we skipped the hike and instead went on the cable car to the Pagoda. I don’t fancy temples or pagodas. What I liked about the journey was the opportunity to see the country side; paddy/rice fields, vegetable gardens, and the many country-side houses. At the end of the road journey we came to the riverside of Due Khe village. There I boarded a shallow metal-bottomed boat (no roads to the Perfume Pagoda) for an hour-long boat ride along the wide, swiftly flowing Yen River. It was a worthwhile journey as it was relaxing in the metal boat, where the oarsman - or rather the oarswoman (mostly women), steered you along the river to view the beautiful landscape of jagged limestone hills. After my experience, I made a mental note to bring a cushion to protect my bum in future.

Overall, I enjoyed my holiday in Hanoi and shoppings too. I bought some nice silk clothings and stuffs. I met a few tourists who are my friends now, and that is really a blessing. If you ask me whether I want to visit Hanoi again I will tell you, yes! It truly has its Hidden Charm. This time round I will not miss Sa Pa – the trekking paradise.

Is honking the way of communication?

What is communication? According to Webster’s thesaurus, communicate (verb) means: impart, inform, tell, confer, talk, converse, chat, and write, whereas communication (noun) means: utterance, writing, broadcasting, speaking, and interchange.

How do we communicate on the road and in our daily life?

During my trip to Hanoi, Vietnam in January this year, what caught my attention was the traffic. There were many cars, motorbikes, bicycles and tricycles; this was a rare sight back home. I put my hat off to the driver who chauffeured my friend and me from the airport to our hotel. I really considered him a skilful and fast driver, driving at night in high speed. What amazed and bewildered us was, he almost honked and flashed his highlight the entire journey to overtake and get ahead to reach our destination. We looked at each other, suffering from a serious cultural shock. Back home we consider this as rude act lacking in road courtesy. We will only honk when necessary. But honking is the way of life in Honoi. You not only hear the noise of vehicles moving on the road, but also constant honking. Well, the drivers get what they want; driving and overtaking and moving ahead in high speeds. However, that does not deter one from visiting Honoi. It’s a place worth visiting and full of beauty yet to be discovered by those who have not been there.

This enlightening experience set me deep in thought till now and made me wonder as to how we actually communicate with the people around us; to our loved ones, family members, relatives, friends, colleague, acquaintances, strangers, and so on. Do we also honk in anger and irritation, as impatient as the drivers in Hanoi and totally disregarding how others feel? Do we just go ahead and get what we want? Is that what life is all about?

I came across this poem which I would like to share with you, and I feel that it is meaningful regarding the topic of communication. The title of this poem is “One Final Touch”.

One Final Touch
If one lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If one lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If one lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If one lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.

If one lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If one lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If one lives with encouragement he learns to be confident.

If one lives with acceptance, he learns to love.

If one lives with recognition, he learns it is good to have a goal.

If one lives with honesty he learns what truth is.

If one lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If one lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him.

If one lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live to love and be loved.

(Anonymous)

How To Avoid Communication Breakdown

Are people receiving the message you want to send across?

Communication does not begin with being understood, but with understanding others.

If you feel unsure about how to communicate effectively with anyone, there are many strategies to do so.

However, I would like to share some thoughts on 7 strategies to improve our communication and relationship from being self-sabotaged.

1) Never Assume - One of the biggest causes in communication breakdown is miscommunication, resulting from assumption and unclear instruction. e.g. you tell someone to pick you up at a certain location at 5pm sharp. That someone came at 5pm sharp and they became angry because they have been waiting for over an hour at the wrong entrance. Usually when such thing happens, it creates tension to the relationship. Using the “5 Ws” approach can help to clarify others people message to you. They are the “Where, What, When, Who & Why”.

2) Avoid Unexplained Silence - There are times when you are angry at something and you don’t feel like talking to somebody. However, people around might not understand you and you need to be alone or you need a specific time to cool down before you engage in a conversation. Tell that someone you need to be alone for a moment to cool down your emotion.

3) Avoid Talking out of Negative Emotions - Avoid talking out of negative emotions like hurt, anger, frustration, sadness, resentment etc. If you do, the negativity of your communication will be felt and may hurt the relationship. Words uttered can not be swallowed back. In such a case ten minutes of refrain is better than ten years of regrets. Think Freely and Speak Wisely.

4) Avoid Confusing Instruction - Give step to step instruction.

5) Avoid Holding Back Your Energy - Have you experienced a situation where you felt bored listening to someone who seem not to have energy and interest when speaking to you? So put more energy, with your body, your facial expressions and your hand gestures. Generate enthusiasm in your voice when you speak to other.

6) Stop Neglecting Eye Contact - One of the surest ways to convey that you are not interested in communicating with a person is to avoid having eye contact with that person. Having eye contact shows that you are committed in relaying your message across to others and committed to listen and to be with that person.

7) Handle Wrong Tones - It is not so much of what you say counts; it is how you say it that creates an impact. Using the wrong tone will not help get the result you want. Tones that are caring, affectionate, soft and trusting will be more pleasing and will likely to yeild postitive response. Therefore, use the right tone to get the right response. Speak GENTLY when giving emotional support, FIRM and ASSERTIVE when you need to correct behaviors and actions.

So are we sending the right message? If not, take charges and change our strategy. So when we change the way we are communicating, then will people change their communication towards us.

When communication breakdown are avoided, we will see that it will turn into a power communication which will send our message, intentions or instructions on AN ARROW to the HEART of our LISTENERS.

Moments of Life

The following piece is meant for those people

Who mean something to me.

To those who have touched my life in one way or another;

To those who make me smile when I really need it;

To those who make me see the

Brighter side of things when I am really down;

To those whose friendship I appreciate;

To those who are so meaningful in my life.

Thanks for being there.

Have a Good Day my Friend!

Author - Unknown
There are moments in life when you miss someone

so much that you just want to pick them from

your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;

But often times we look so long at the

Closed door that we don’t see the one,

Which has been opened for us.

Don’t go for looks; they can deceive.

Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away.

Go for someone who makes you smile,

Because it takes only a smile to

Make a dark day seem bright.

Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream;

Go where you want to go;

Be what you want to be,

Because you have only one life

And one chance to do all the things

You want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,

Enough trials to make you strong,

Enough sorrow to keep you human and

Enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily

have the best of everything;

They just make the most of

Everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always

Be based on a forgotten past;

You can’t go forward in life until

You let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying

and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end,

you’re the one who is smiling and everyone

around you is crying.

Never Assume

Many a times in my life journey, I stumble and fall and I like to assume and jump to conclusion without realizing that I may be the “culprit”. I have a knocked on my head when I read an article my dear friend forwarded to me on a husband’s assumption of his wife’s hearing problem.

Yea, it sounds familiar. It’s a joke. I have a Good Laugh, but….. The moral of the story is:

“THE PROBLEM MAY NOT BE WITH THE OTHER ONE AS WE ALWAYS THINK, IT COULD BE VERY MUCH WITHIN US”. So don’t pass any judgement!

#A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here’s what you do”. said the Doctor. “Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself. ”I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens”. Then in a normal tone, he asks. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and he repeats. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”. There is still no response.

Next he moves into the dinning room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again he gets no response.

So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away and asked. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”. Again there is no response.

So He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

“James, for the FIFTH time I’ve said, CHICKEN!”

Author – unknown

Friend's Reunion

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold, for dear friends are hard to find and bring peace to the mind.

There are many things in life in which we need a certain amount of effort to make it happen. That includes making an effort to meet up with my old friends for a reunion for drink and a game of Balut.

About 8 to 9 years ago, I used to hang out with 4 of my friends namely, Jef, Pete (not in picture because he cannot make it), Wendy and Daphne (gang of 5) every Friday night over many years for drinks, singing and a game of Balut. It was during this Balut playing night that we enjoy ourselves and let our hair down and drown ourselves with laughter and shouts at our luck when we strike a score of Balut (see picture), chatting and talking about different topics and “gossiping”.

However, the chain of these Friday meetings was broken due to individual life commitments, busy work schedules, social functions and engagements. So the gang was dispersed for about last 3 to 4 years with the exception of the occasional get-together. However, we keep in touch with one another over the phone and sms. We really missed this Friday Nite rendezvous.

On 14.7.07 (Friday), I made an effort to round up all my gang of five, but Pete could not make it. I also made an effort to take a picture of our reunion. I feel that it’s hard for us to get together and I treasure this moment and want to remember it. What else can jog the memory other than a photo? A picture paints a thousand words. We agreed that we will make an effort to meet up at least once a month from now on - on the last Friday of every month. Of course, we have to put in effort once again.

Friendship isn’t always easily described. It has been said that Eskimos have a hundred different words for snow. Unfortunately, the vocabulary of the English language isn’t quite as vast, though it has ample opportunities to differentiate meaning. Certainly, Love is one of those opportunities. And so, too, is Friendship.

Instead of different words, however, we’re stuck with simple words and phrases. Friend. Close friend. Best friend. Childhood friend. Intimate friend. Trusted friend. Beloved friend. But whether you use different phrases or words, few can deny the nearly infinite meaning in such a simple word.

Friends are special people. We can’t pick our family, and we’re sorely limited in the number of them at any rate. Society and mores (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate. But our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the phrases or simple words we choose. Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life.

Friends Care, Friends Share, We Need Friends Everywhere!

P/S The strange instinct was, I wanted to take a photo of our friend’s reunion. And that was the last photo taken at the Club. The Sarawak Club unfortunately and sadly was burnt to the ground on the early morning of 27th July, 2006. Gone was the 130 years old club’s history. Currently, it is in the rebuilding process.